Motherhood and Postpartum chat with Sophie Ward Koren

Today on the blog we have Sophie Ward Koren. She is the founder of Milk and Seed, a postpartum food delivery and wellness service for mothers and their families. I have been enrolled in their Postpartum Kitchen Apprenticeship course, and it is filled with so much knowledge and information I wish I had known going into my first postpartum experience. Enjoy our chat!

Can you start by introducing yourself for those who don't know you?

Hello! I’m Sophie, I was born and raised in Western Australia by a doctor and a nurse, with my nurse-midwife grandmother living next door. I was the eldest of four so grew up in a maternal role from quite a young age, but also loved making potions and brews in the garden. I started writing poetry in my teens, then published my writing in a book when I moved to Manhattan in my early 20s. I met my husband there (also Australian); I told him I loved him a week after we met, and we got married four months later. We had our son (now 9) in Bucks County PA, in a big house right on the river. We moved to LA when he was a baby to be closer to the music industry (my husband’s work), but I rebelled and moved us to Ojai. That’s where I got the download for my business Milk & Seed. I had been studying nutrition and energy medicine for two years, so a postpartum food delivery offering was the natural evolution of that. Now I teach people how to cook for themselves and others during postpartum, among many other things! We own multiple Airbnb properties and I’m studying to be an Interior Designer, with a sustainable interiors & events consulting brand named Yearling in the works. 

What would you consider the main principles of a healthy postpartum?

Rest (the cocoon), community support, and warmth. Women need adequate time to recover from the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual cleaving that birth is. They need devoted people who can provide for her every need during this recovery. And they should never be cold! Warmth accelerates healing, bonding and integration.  

You are a mother to two beautiful little ones. What does self-care look like to you in this season of life? Any tips for a new mother struggling to just take care of her basic needs?

It’s funny but we have our baby’s crib set up in a corner of our (quite large) bathroom, just off our bedroom. It seemed odd at first but now it’s a godsend – I can put her in her crib to play while I take a shower. I’ve noticed if I don’t get on the ground and stretch for 20-30 minutes in the morning every day I don’t feel like myself, so I make sure to do that. Outside is preferable, under the sky listening to the birds and the wind rustle the leaves. It doesn’t cost anything but I feel 10x better afterwards! I'm also careful with what I eat: I don’t drink coffee, so I start the day with a rooibos chai or lemon water. It keeps my nervous system regulated as the day grows wider and brighter. Maybe later I’ll have an iced matcha – my one vice! I love to work but these days I don’t have much time. We started a new ritual of me getting some work done from 7pm-9pm after dinner; my husband cleans up and helps our older son to bed while I retreat to my candlelit office. I look forward to that time every day. 

I know we are in agreement that food is the foundation for a nurtured motherhood experience. What foods do you focus on in the early days? 

In both Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine the focus is essentially on warm bowl foods. So anything that can served in a bowl and eaten with a spoon! Nutrient dense soups, stews, kitchari, soaked grain porridges, sprouted rice porridges, oats oats oats, lots of ghee (1 tablespoon with every meal), as well as powerhouse foods like egg yolks, liver, bone marrow & collagen rich broth. I recommend only drinking room temperature water, herbal teas and lactogenic milks. 

The baby needs so few physical items in the early days. Were there key items you found helpful for yourself as a new mother?

Colorful cotton socks (they always brightened my mood), a thick cotton robe to bundle up in and my moon shaped nursing pillow (I love the fact that it can continue to be part of the decor after we’re done nursing!)  I also loved having a special mug that was only ever served to me – it’s symbolic of the fact that no one else is allowed to take from your cup. 

For someone about to enter motherhood for the first time, what advice would you have?

Expect the unexpected. Be prepared to disregard everything you thought motherhood will be, and to replace those expectations with an experience of growth, depth, heart-bursting-soul-exploding-joy, and tests to your presence, patience and maturity. Parenthood will change you and strip you of ego; however, if you let it teach you along the way, you’ll grow into a more authentic version of yourself. The possibility for transformation on this journey is utterly profound. 

If you could snap your fingers and give every mother the ideal postpartum experience, what would that look like?

At least two weeks of a cocoon in their chosen nest, whether that is at their home or another cosy and supportive location. No other responsibilities except to feed her baby, bond, rest, eat and sleep. Someone would be present to prepare and deliver all her nourishing warm food, hydration and nourishment, and attend to her every need. Trusted family or friends would be available to listen and help her process her feelings as she navigates the emotional (hormonal) rollercoaster that birth catalyzes. Time in the sun, time in nature, time in love. 

Finally, I love how you notice and write about the little things that are enriching your life. What are you savoring these days?

Time spent with friends on their farms, the gentle rustle of wind in the trees, good sleep, good friends, late nights laughing with my husband, kissing baby cheeks, bringing out my old favorite sweaters as the days get cooler. 

Thank you so much for joining us, Sophie!

Photo from Sophie Ward Koren

Postpartum Q&A with Carson Meyer

Carson Meyer is a birth Doula and nutrition consultant. I was in her Growing Together Circle when I was pregnant and it was the best thing I did for myself and my birth. She is a wealth of knowledge and a gem of a human. I am very excited to have her on the blog this month answering some questions on motherhood, postpartum, and more. Read on!

Can you tell me a little bit about what you do and why you’re passionate about it?

I am a birth doula, certified nutrition consultant and founder of a clean skincare company C & The Moon. I am passionate about helping women feel healthy and well supported so they can best show up for their babies. I believe that a healthy world is only possible when mothers and mother earth are well cared for. 

In your perfect vision, what would a new mother’s first week look like? First month? First year?

Slow, well supported by family and friends, well nourished with healthy foods, work leave would be encouraged and covered for both parents, strong community

You know so much about nutrition as a nutrition consultant (shout out Oh Baby!). What have been some of your favorite go-to snacks and meals that are nourishing for those postpartum?

Ooo! I am pretty obsessed with salmon roe. I put it over rice (cooked in bone broth) with seaweed, avocado and kraut. Great source of omegas and iodine and so easy. All you have to make is the rice which can be a fridge staple. 

Overnight oats soaked with ACV to remove phytic acid. Mixed with chia seeds, coconut milk, cherries and collagen. This was really helpful for my digestion early days and boosted my milk supply big time. 

Bacon wrapped dates for my postpartum sweet and savory tooth! 

Avocado toast with gluten free seed bread topped with egg and sauerkraut 

I see more and more expecting mothers seeking birth doulas. Do you see a similar shift with your clients around seeking the support of postpartum doulas? 

Unfortunately no. I do notice more people turning to birth doula support which excites me. However, not as many people are seeking postpartum support in the same way.  

What has been the most surprising aspect of motherhood for you?

Hmm.. I think the most surprising part is how it feels like it's always been this way. It is really interesting how quickly you forget a time before motherhood! Johnathan and I always ask each other "How did we spend our days and all of this time we had before parenthood?" Even though there is a lot of learning, growing and new adventures everyday, you really are thrown in 100% which forces you into the present moment.  

What has been the most rewarding part of motherhood so far?

My daughter's laughter 

Is there one thing you wish someone told you before becoming a mother?

Thanks to my work as a doula I felt very prepared in all the ways one can be and had the unique experience of getting to be around so many new mothers and to support them through the raw and real moments that aren't always talked about. I didn't anticipate how important support is beyond the first 40 days! My daughter is 7 months old and in many ways we are needing support now more than ever as we return to work and she is crawling around. Being encouraged by other moms to get the support you need and not try to do it all always feels really validating. 

Is there a piece of advice you have for someone about to enter their postpartum season?

Yes! You never get that time back. It can be a challenging time but also a profoundly sacred one. Take everything off your plate and be present for all of it. Also, prepare you relationship for a massive shift! No matter how much love is in the home a new baby will shake things up and create new hurdles in your relationship. Be committed to nurturing that bond because everything is easier when you are in harmony. 

Thank you so much for joining us, Carson!

Photo from Carson Meyer

Postpartum Q&A with Elenore of Aeldr

Postpartum is such a tender time. You’ve been through it a few times. Are there things you wish you knew or did to prepare beforehand?

I just took a peek at the postpartum pinterest map I made in 2013 when I was pregnant with my first son. There were practices like warming foods, traditional belly binding, candle cord burning, herbal infusions, post birth sealing ceremonies, and sitz baths. I think it’s safe to say that the intentions and wishes have been with me from the start, and all of these pinned ideas from my 24 year old self have been woven in different ways into all my three immediate postpartum periods. Are there things I wish I would have done differently? Many! But the most prominent thing to come up for me is the hope that it wasn’t the mothers role to plan for the immediate postpartum healing period, but for society to rise to the occasion and build the practices and the healing space around the mother instead. So that when someone is bringing a soul earthside, a pinterest map isn’t what leads, but the wisdom already taught to us from a young age, as well as a safe, wise council of folks around us with plenty of experience. For this day and age though, beyond the support that I have had, I would have wished for more practical hands-on house-, meal-, older kids- support as well as bodywork, energy work, and sacred space holding.

How do you manage the broken sleep and overstimulating nature of postpartum?

I’m thinking that if we as a society can remember and embody that there is nothing else for the newly birthed mother to ’manage’ aside from bonding and healing, it would shift the way we move into parenting the new generation, as well as weather or not we can step into the new phase of life and wisdom that’s available to us in this window. Every single basic need should be ’managed’ by our supporting circles during this time. As for the broken sleep: stay in bed for weeks! Nap when you can, dose off when you can, nurse lying down. Just don’t put any other strain on your body than what healing, integration, and hormonal shifts already do. As for the overstimulating nature of postpartum: grounding foods, warmth, limit screens, limit artificial lights, limit folks around you to only the ones that make you feel grounded, safe, and warm. Making sure (beforehand) that the space you’ll spend most time in feels beautiful, soothing and safe to you is important.

How does postpartum look different after a second or third child compared to your first?

It is different worlds. During the second and third times I had the lived experience and confidence that I didn’t during my first. This made it more joy-filled and ease-filled, but also busy and didn’t hold quite enough time with my husband (who was then with the older kids). During my first, I could solely focus on one child and our little unit of three but it was also very unstable, new, raw, and extremely sleep deprived since this little being truly didn’t sleep. In my experience postpartum support put together from folks around us is most acutely needed during our first entering into motherhood, aPer our first birth. Simply because most often we don’t know what to expect and how to support this great shift. Intellectually knowing something, and lived experience is so different. When there is a second, third, or other birth, THEN we can co-weave plans with our supporting circles because we (hopefully/might) know a bit more about what we truly need.

What are a few must-have meals, snacks and beverages for a new mother?

Easily digestible, highly nutrient dense, and warm meals are my focus point. for snacks/in between meals its great to stay away from crunchy/airy things at least during the first couple of weeks and especially during the colder months. Think grounding and build from there. What feels grounding to you? Make a list! For beverages I lean on herbal infusions and broths (like bone broths, mushroom/sea weed broths, or meat stocks). Adding some high quality salt and raw honey to every glass for optimal absorption is a game changer for cellular hydration.

Thank you so much for these thoughtful and profound words of wisdom on all things postpartum. Check out Modern Rituals (@_aeldr_) to see all of what Elenore is up to.

Photo from @_aeldr_

March Recipe: Bright Carrot Cauliflower Soup with Crispy Citrus Chickpeas

INGREDIENTS

1 med head cauliflower, cut into florets

4 carrots

1/2 TB turmeric powder

1 tsp ras el hanout spice (moroccan spice blend)

1 inch knob of ginger

1 cup oat or coconut milk

1 shallot, sliced thinly

1 can of chickpeas (rinsed, drained and patted dry)

DIRECTIONS

Heat the ghee in a dutch oven over medium heat. Add shallot, ginger and spices and cook until slightly softened and fragrant, about 3 minutes.

Add in carrots and cauliflower with 2 cups water; bring to a simmer, cover and cook until the vegetables are fork tender, about 25 minutes. Add in coconut/oat milk and blend well.

CHICKPEA TOPPING

Heat up cast iron with ghee, add in chickpeas and sauté until they pop in pan. Microplane half an orange and salt to taste.

Finish off with a high quality olive oil. My current favorite is Wonder Valley - super herbaceous and bright!

*sub coconut oil for ghee if vegan

Photo credit: Taylor Kitto of Whole Nourish.

This recipe is brought to your by Taylor Kitto, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. She is the founder of Whole Nourish.