Motherhood and Postpartum chat with Sophie Ward Koren
Today on the blog we have Sophie Ward Koren. She is the founder of Milk and Seed, a postpartum food delivery and wellness service for mothers and their families. I have been enrolled in their Postpartum Kitchen Apprenticeship course, and it is filled with so much knowledge and information I wish I had known going into my first postpartum experience. Enjoy our chat!
Can you start by introducing yourself for those who don't know you?
Hello! I’m Sophie, I was born and raised in Western Australia by a doctor and a nurse, with my nurse-midwife grandmother living next door. I was the eldest of four so grew up in a maternal role from quite a young age, but also loved making potions and brews in the garden. I started writing poetry in my teens, then published my writing in a book when I moved to Manhattan in my early 20s. I met my husband there (also Australian); I told him I loved him a week after we met, and we got married four months later. We had our son (now 9) in Bucks County PA, in a big house right on the river. We moved to LA when he was a baby to be closer to the music industry (my husband’s work), but I rebelled and moved us to Ojai. That’s where I got the download for my business Milk & Seed. I had been studying nutrition and energy medicine for two years, so a postpartum food delivery offering was the natural evolution of that. Now I teach people how to cook for themselves and others during postpartum, among many other things! We own multiple Airbnb properties and I’m studying to be an Interior Designer, with a sustainable interiors & events consulting brand named Yearling in the works.
What would you consider the main principles of a healthy postpartum?
Rest (the cocoon), community support, and warmth. Women need adequate time to recover from the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual cleaving that birth is. They need devoted people who can provide for her every need during this recovery. And they should never be cold! Warmth accelerates healing, bonding and integration.
You are a mother to two beautiful little ones. What does self-care look like to you in this season of life? Any tips for a new mother struggling to just take care of her basic needs?
It’s funny but we have our baby’s crib set up in a corner of our (quite large) bathroom, just off our bedroom. It seemed odd at first but now it’s a godsend – I can put her in her crib to play while I take a shower. I’ve noticed if I don’t get on the ground and stretch for 20-30 minutes in the morning every day I don’t feel like myself, so I make sure to do that. Outside is preferable, under the sky listening to the birds and the wind rustle the leaves. It doesn’t cost anything but I feel 10x better afterwards! I'm also careful with what I eat: I don’t drink coffee, so I start the day with a rooibos chai or lemon water. It keeps my nervous system regulated as the day grows wider and brighter. Maybe later I’ll have an iced matcha – my one vice! I love to work but these days I don’t have much time. We started a new ritual of me getting some work done from 7pm-9pm after dinner; my husband cleans up and helps our older son to bed while I retreat to my candlelit office. I look forward to that time every day.
I know we are in agreement that food is the foundation for a nurtured motherhood experience. What foods do you focus on in the early days?
In both Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine the focus is essentially on warm bowl foods. So anything that can served in a bowl and eaten with a spoon! Nutrient dense soups, stews, kitchari, soaked grain porridges, sprouted rice porridges, oats oats oats, lots of ghee (1 tablespoon with every meal), as well as powerhouse foods like egg yolks, liver, bone marrow & collagen rich broth. I recommend only drinking room temperature water, herbal teas and lactogenic milks.
The baby needs so few physical items in the early days. Were there key items you found helpful for yourself as a new mother?
Colorful cotton socks (they always brightened my mood), a thick cotton robe to bundle up in and my moon shaped nursing pillow (I love the fact that it can continue to be part of the decor after we’re done nursing!) I also loved having a special mug that was only ever served to me – it’s symbolic of the fact that no one else is allowed to take from your cup.
For someone about to enter motherhood for the first time, what advice would you have?
Expect the unexpected. Be prepared to disregard everything you thought motherhood will be, and to replace those expectations with an experience of growth, depth, heart-bursting-soul-exploding-joy, and tests to your presence, patience and maturity. Parenthood will change you and strip you of ego; however, if you let it teach you along the way, you’ll grow into a more authentic version of yourself. The possibility for transformation on this journey is utterly profound.
If you could snap your fingers and give every mother the ideal postpartum experience, what would that look like?
At least two weeks of a cocoon in their chosen nest, whether that is at their home or another cosy and supportive location. No other responsibilities except to feed her baby, bond, rest, eat and sleep. Someone would be present to prepare and deliver all her nourishing warm food, hydration and nourishment, and attend to her every need. Trusted family or friends would be available to listen and help her process her feelings as she navigates the emotional (hormonal) rollercoaster that birth catalyzes. Time in the sun, time in nature, time in love.
Finally, I love how you notice and write about the little things that are enriching your life. What are you savoring these days?
Time spent with friends on their farms, the gentle rustle of wind in the trees, good sleep, good friends, late nights laughing with my husband, kissing baby cheeks, bringing out my old favorite sweaters as the days get cooler.
Thank you so much for joining us, Sophie!
Photo from Sophie Ward Koren