Postpartum Q&A with Elenore of Aeldr
Postpartum is such a tender time. You’ve been through it a few times. Are there things you wish you knew or did to prepare beforehand?
I just took a peek at the postpartum pinterest map I made in 2013 when I was pregnant with my first son. There were practices like warming foods, traditional belly binding, candle cord burning, herbal infusions, post birth sealing ceremonies, and sitz baths. I think it’s safe to say that the intentions and wishes have been with me from the start, and all of these pinned ideas from my 24 year old self have been woven in different ways into all my three immediate postpartum periods. Are there things I wish I would have done differently? Many! But the most prominent thing to come up for me is the hope that it wasn’t the mothers role to plan for the immediate postpartum healing period, but for society to rise to the occasion and build the practices and the healing space around the mother instead. So that when someone is bringing a soul earthside, a pinterest map isn’t what leads, but the wisdom already taught to us from a young age, as well as a safe, wise council of folks around us with plenty of experience. For this day and age though, beyond the support that I have had, I would have wished for more practical hands-on house-, meal-, older kids- support as well as bodywork, energy work, and sacred space holding.
How do you manage the broken sleep and overstimulating nature of postpartum?
I’m thinking that if we as a society can remember and embody that there is nothing else for the newly birthed mother to ’manage’ aside from bonding and healing, it would shift the way we move into parenting the new generation, as well as weather or not we can step into the new phase of life and wisdom that’s available to us in this window. Every single basic need should be ’managed’ by our supporting circles during this time. As for the broken sleep: stay in bed for weeks! Nap when you can, dose off when you can, nurse lying down. Just don’t put any other strain on your body than what healing, integration, and hormonal shifts already do. As for the overstimulating nature of postpartum: grounding foods, warmth, limit screens, limit artificial lights, limit folks around you to only the ones that make you feel grounded, safe, and warm. Making sure (beforehand) that the space you’ll spend most time in feels beautiful, soothing and safe to you is important.
How does postpartum look different after a second or third child compared to your first?
It is different worlds. During the second and third times I had the lived experience and confidence that I didn’t during my first. This made it more joy-filled and ease-filled, but also busy and didn’t hold quite enough time with my husband (who was then with the older kids). During my first, I could solely focus on one child and our little unit of three but it was also very unstable, new, raw, and extremely sleep deprived since this little being truly didn’t sleep. In my experience postpartum support put together from folks around us is most acutely needed during our first entering into motherhood, aPer our first birth. Simply because most often we don’t know what to expect and how to support this great shift. Intellectually knowing something, and lived experience is so different. When there is a second, third, or other birth, THEN we can co-weave plans with our supporting circles because we (hopefully/might) know a bit more about what we truly need.
What are a few must-have meals, snacks and beverages for a new mother?
Easily digestible, highly nutrient dense, and warm meals are my focus point. for snacks/in between meals its great to stay away from crunchy/airy things at least during the first couple of weeks and especially during the colder months. Think grounding and build from there. What feels grounding to you? Make a list! For beverages I lean on herbal infusions and broths (like bone broths, mushroom/sea weed broths, or meat stocks). Adding some high quality salt and raw honey to every glass for optimal absorption is a game changer for cellular hydration.
Thank you so much for these thoughtful and profound words of wisdom on all things postpartum. Check out Modern Rituals (@_aeldr_) to see all of what Elenore is up to.
Photo from @_aeldr_